Is it Wrong to Love A Chuunibyou Tomboy?
by TheMrWOBBLeS
Summary: I like IF a lot. What better way to praise her than a long, detailed story? Will be continued
1. Chapter 1

Is it Wrong to Love A Chuunibyou Tomboy? Pt 1

Mandatory Foreword-

When I write a story about "you", this is a "you" that you must to an extent, imagine. The actions of "you" may be unlike a path you would choose in reality, but then again, this is the "you" from another dimension. If anything, they're a conjured perfect "you" that would bond best with the character in question. Other than that, enjoy!

For an early summer day, you doubted things could get any better.

You were fresh out of high school, having finally graduated and been accepted into the Guild. It had been a dream for years, the entire time you had seen others simply drop out of school to join. You had decided that you would stay in school so if Guild work was slow you could get a normal job. The entire time, you had known many of the drop-outs, but among them all, one stood out.

It may seem like fawning, or a childish crush, but IF was your hero. That's right, the short, brunette girl who nearly always wore an oversized blue coat with a belt of cell phones. She became Guild Master before the rest of you had even made it to high school and possessed fantastic magical powers. You had followed in her footsteps to an extent, training your own magical skills after homework, during gym and to entertain friends. To be as good as she was… To adventure with all four CPUs at the same time… Just thinking of it seemed overwhelming, maybe even impossible.

Ping.

Hehehe… an update alert from your phone.

You never told a soul, but one of your pastimes is playing a game of Dungeons and Wyverns online. It had never interested you, but when online, you didn't have to physically be around the usual type of people who invested their time into such games. Plus, the dungeon master that you played with was insane.

You didn't mean it in a derogatory fashion, they had an imagination that should've been used to make books, movies and anime rather than play a specific niche online game. Plot twists came entirely unexpected yet justified as they went into detail about the little tidbits that the Master had left along your adventure up to that point with them. You look up.

Where the hell are you?

It looks like the forest behind the Guild's building. A book claps shut. Someone is out there.

"TO STAVE OFF THE DAY, AND BRING ETERNAL NIGHT, I SUMMON THEE, ARCH DEMON ALASTOR!"

Despite your worst fears of a loose necromancer or such, as a member of the Guild, you feel obliged to investigate. The thicket that flanks the path resists your movement, and you can't seem to find a way though quietly. You feel a flat among the twisted trunks of shrubbery, soon peeling back a piece of plywood.

You get on all fours, barely crawling through a passage cut into the thicket.

The voice calls out again.

"FUHEHUHEHEHEHEHEH! On the half eve of Solstice, this is the day which I have my last chance at such a summoning!"

Shit, you really do have to stop her, even if all you have are some magic which you have never used in combat and a pocket knife. You stand and push through a hedge. The ground seems to fall out under your feet.

You rub a knee, entirely unaware that the witch is right in front of you because of the sharp pain all over your body from sliding down a pit.

You look up.

The hem of a great… great blue coat comes into view.

Those green eyes and brown hair…

"WHAT!? IF!?"

IF is frozen in place muttering "I thought I was alone". IF's face is as white as paper in shock until quickly turning a bright red. You notice that she holds a leather backed notebook and a pen in the other hand. The red page marker ribbon flutters in the breeze in the dead silence. Another similar notebook is on the stump behind her with "complete" written on the title space.

As soon as you can move to speak, she flees, taking her books with in a desperate sprint.

You're late for muster, which also puts you on the receiving end of a brutal chew-out by your instructor. Being late to your first day sets a bad precedent, he says. Explaining why you were late would ruin the Guild Master, you had to take the blame and speak with her given the chance. There's no way your childhood hero would moonlight as a demonic summoner. IF was if anything, dependable and upright.

As for your day, it goes about a very specific routine according to the instructor. You are to sleep, live, breathe, eat and drink the Guild's very essence. He seems closer to a drill instructor than a teacher.

All day seems to be physical training, apparently the Guild expects absolutely nothing in the way of fitness for new recruits. By lunch time, most people are too exhausted to continue. You fare well, as you've been preparing your whole life for this, but are definitely starting to slow.

Lunch is served in a giant, very institutional appearing cafeteria. Women dish out ladles full of generic, filling if somewhat tasteless food. You scarf the food down, intending to look for IF. You get out the double doors, thinking frantically where such an important person could be.

"Hey."

Your eyes squeeze shut, expecting an instructor to drag you back to the cafeteria.

A green bow catches your eyes the moment they open.

"Come with me." IF strictly orders.

She seems to lead you about the campus, barely speaking. You find yourself on the roof, speaking with IF.

"So, you understand that I was ac- acting, and not actually a summoner, right?"

For some reason, she doesn't quite sound convincing or honest.

"Yes Ma'am."

"Alright. I'm going to send you back to your group."

"I'm proud to be working with you IF." you say with a smile.

IF is taken aback, she seems surprised. She relaxes, letting a slight grin creep into the corner of her mouth.

"I thought you looked familiar. Don't think that you'll get an easy pass for being in the same class as me at one point." she says with authority.

"I didn't expect you would give any quarter, if anything you would probably make it more difficult for me." You admit.

IF lightly chuckles, the walk back is much quicker than expected as you're expected to keep her pace.

"You're not wrong." says IF with the semblance of a smile.

Being in the Guild isn't as glamorous as their advertising made it seem. Waking up at 0600 every day just to spend the first half of the day going through vigorous training and then the rest of the day "helping". By helping, you mean that the new people were literally the support group for the rest of the guild.

As trainees, you did laundry, helped prepare meals, moved supplies, dealt with the dozen or so armories and lugging in the occasional exhausted adventurer who couldn't walk any more. Using new recruits was cheaper than hiring contractors to do the work and familiarized everyone with the inner workings of the Guild. Those who showed exceptional skill in certain tasks were assigned as supervisors or put on promotion tracks to be part of the massive framework that kept this organization running. Even though they might work at desks, absolutely everyone, even the cooks were subject to the minimum combat standards. You weren't here to be a desk worker though.

You were done, you had checked and doubled checked the one hundred service pistols, two hundred precision rifles, five hundred and eighty nine service rifles (11 were deployed in a training exercise) of Armory Twelve. Each armory was devoted to a specific issue weapon type of the Guild, excepting the special weapons in #7. You were pretty sick of sharpening blades, oiling mechanisms and checking expiration dates on potions. Of course, the moment you think that, something has to go wrong. The speakers bark an order at you with the voice of the Administrator, which oozes authority with the hint of kindness that an older woman has.

"ATTENTION ALL HANDS, GATHER AT YOUR DESIGNATED ARMORIES! FURTHER INSTRUCTION WILL COME FROM OFFICERS AND COMMAND!"

As a mage blade, you waited for an issue sword and pack of potions to recharge your magic in battle. What was going on?

IF appears, setting a hand on her hip while taking a few calming breaths. She deeply inhales before speaking. Her eyes are steeled, you can feel a battle approaching.

"We've assembled teams, as it stands, I'm in charge of you, the Magic group. We've organized this way to ensure that firepower is consolidated to deal with the Very Dangerous tier boss that has seemingly invaded for no reason. Stay sharp and follow ALL commands issued."

So. Damn. Cool. IF doesn't even blink, she seems more irritated by the involved bureaucracy than actually fighting a giant monster. As quickly as she appeared, IF ventures out, charging towards the north. IF's nickname of "Wind Walker" is well earned, she outruns anyone in our battalion, not ceasing once before getting to our target.

IF skids to a loud, gravelly stop lowering her figure and staring at the target. Given that all we see are some fat, scaled haunches, we must be engaging a Dragon. IF clenches a fist, throwing a chimera spell of elements at the beast to check for vulnerabilities.

"Attention! Focus lightning magics on it!" shouts IF while running for cover.

"Hell yeah, I get to see what battle is like!" You think.. Our battalion opens up, launching enough attacks to clear the tree coverage.

"You idiots! Scatter!" screams IF at the top of her lungs.

You get the message, but a few squads get incinerated. The dragon throws a clawful of explosives at your guildmates, pocket marking the increasingly hellish forest. A few ravaged trees burn violently while you and some mates take turns throwing lightning at the beast. Mud slides off the edge of the crater that you've used as cover. IF pops right up from the mudslide and the puddle in the middle of the crater, clawing her way to your group.

IF angrily pulls out one of the many phones on her belt, speed dialing the Administrator.

"WHERE THE HELL IS THE REST OF THE PARTY!?"

"ETA was fifteen minutes, please calm down."

"WE'RE GETTING SHREDDED OUT HERE!"

"IF, I know you're upset but the Healer and Knight groups are the closest to you. Fire support is currently unavailable, estimate for them is twenty minutes."

IF grits her teeth.

"Delaying action, right?" IF growls through her teeth.

"Of course, magic was the quickest to deploy and by our measurements, likely the most effective."

"Right, IF out."

IF doesn't look pleased. The firestorm of lightning only seems to irritate the Dragon.

"WE NEED BUFFS AND DEBUFFS RIGHT NOW, KEEP IT FROM MOVING!"

A golden feeling creeps into your mind. Is this what a buff feels like? IF whips out a ringing phone.

"Fire support is partially available, firing for effect. Keep people away from that thing."

Behind the scattered and ragged band of magic users among the cratered wasteland of a forest, a series of truck towed guns and mortars coat the dragon in fire. Armor piercing shells score direct hits, taking the thing to the ground.

"NOW! ALL YOUR POWER INTO ONE ATTACK, EVERY LAST PERSON IN FIVE!"

You can smell the ozone in the air from all the charged magic.

"FOUR!"

IF shoots a mean glance at you.

"THREE!"

IF closes her eyes, mumbling a long string of unintelligible words, sounding extremely similar to Latin.

"TWO!"

Everyone has leapt from their cover, whether a old stump or a ten foot deep crater.

"FIIIIIIIREEE!"

The combined attack was only comparable to thousands of flashbang grenades all going off at once. Your ears rang, you couldn't see and when your eyes finally recovered, many of your colleagues had fallen in exhaustion. The fading, pixelating body of the dragon shuddered with electrical energy, occasionally turning some of the earth into an almost glass-like solid with horrible blue arcs of energy. There's no way in hell even half of that attack was your group. What did IF do?

As expected of your vast separation in ranking, you don't get a chance to ask IF for weeks. The number of potatoes you peeled and floors cleaned almost erased your string of questions from your mind. You expected to be the cool adventurers like you saw as a kid, not being hired help. You figure that all of this must just be a matter of proving your worth and working your way up.

"Oi." says a firm, cool voice.

You look up from your bucket and rag, quickly standing to attention.

"IF! Didn't see you!"

IF smiles and visibly relaxes.

"You should've joined the military with that attitude. Anyways, I heard that you wanted to know more about that lighting magic I used."

IF's dry humor was a song to your kitchen dutied and thoroughly busy worked out soul.

"Yeah, I-"

"Come with me, there's no way to practice inside."

The same old institution hallways of the main Guild building reflect the sound of boots, IF really doesn't act like a girl. She walks like a guy and banters like one, it's no wonder that she climbed the Guild's ladder so quickly. She reaches for the bar of the door, pausing as her hand contacts. IF turns and looks at you.

"Did you really join to be like me?"

"Well, I guess. I might've thought I could do better."

IF is actually smiling now. There's a tired feeling hiding in there, but you can feel some kindness seeping out too. She chuckles.

"Sheesh, its like looking in a mirror. Hell, I'll teach you for that reason alone."

Her eyes wander away. It didn't matter to you at the time, but soon you would your mind, you were just learning from one of the best.

IF's calm, swelling power could be felt from a stone's throw away. Her eyes slid open and she threw an arm forwards, launching a glorious bolt of lighting off her fingers as an archer would an arrow. The air crackled with the discharge of energy.

IF walks up to you, quickly interrogating you on what you saw in her power.

"Uh… I heard you speak, but I don't recognize the language… I suppose your gestures would have also assisted in channelling energy."

"Correct and the language is called English, or at least that's what Vert calls it. It's been the most conducive to magic in my experience."

"Alright, so I just say the words and use the pose, and I gain a ton of power."

IF stops just short of an actual facepalm, clearly frustrated with you.

"No No No, not even close. You have to feel and see the words, know what you're saying and visualize it. When you repeat what I said with those emotions, you're weaving magic, not just puking power out there like most rookie mages."

IF looks at you, thinking heavily. Her eyes flicker slowly before she proposes her idea.

"So, if you don't understand, I'll have to teach you the way I learned."

"Alright?"

IF wakes you from your bunk in the barracks at midnight.

As quietly as you can, you escape the building, charging into the woods. The forest creaks and moans in the night. Wind whistles past your head, sending a flurry of leaves into the air. IF seems to reappear at your side. She looks uncomfortable, but shakes off her expression to lead you.

The thunder of a waterfall drowns the eerie silence of night as you venture down the trail.

IF turns to you on the bank of the waterfall's pool. The moonlight transforms the water into a silvery liquid.

"Now, you have a picture of a Wa-tur-fahl, use this word and thought when projecting a water magic. Let the idea of it fill your mind."

You turn away from IF, readying the spell and taking an appropriate stance. With feet braced and hands forwards as if holding back a great weight, you cast the spell.

"WATERFALL!"

A tsunami erupts from your hands, wiping foliage and earth away all the same. Were it not for your magic rapidly depleting, you would have likely caused a natural disaster.

IF is shocked, a little bead of sweat trickles down her forehead. She nervously pushes some of her hair over an ear before speaking.

"A-Ah- I think that's enough."

Her face is wracked with concern.

"I didn't expect you to get it so perfectly on the first try. What… what changed from earlier?"

"I dunno."

IF sighs heavily.

"Guess we'll wait for you to chug some mana potions."

IF sits on a boulder, playing with her phone. Mana potions taste like- well, really mana potions are just plain disgusting. Imagine that someone took a rack of energy drinks and then just added herbs, spices and mushroom distillates by some random choice process. It takes a great effort to not keep the foul concoction down, let alone enjoy your night with a churning belly. Your phone pings a Dungeons and Wyverns alert soon after IF stands, preparing her next lesson for you.

You try to take your mind off your in-progress stomach ache, thumbing through the game update.

The dungeon master has out-done themselves, with almost two pages of exposition and explanation for the newest foe…

Alastor? The demon? You've heard this before. What kind of insane world is this?

It's too much, you're alone and you have to ask.

"Oi, IF, I don't know how to say this, but… do you manage a particular online game?"

IF's suddenly bleached face confirms your suspicions.

"Of-Of all the people, somehow of 12 people, you're one of them!?"

"Yeah. I dunno what kind of statistical anomaly that is, but-"

IF seizes your hands begging and pleading with all of her heart.

"Please PLEASE don't tell anyone!"

Uh. You've never had anyone proselytize themselve at your feet. You doubt many people have in fact. What a sudden change too, a strong leader to an absolutely flustered mess.

"IF, get up, I won't make fun of you. I play it only online for the same reason, I wouldn't want to be seen playing."

IF softens but shakes her head.

"I'm sorry. I have to go."

"Why?" You want to ask.

That's the last thing IF said before running away.

It's hard to sleep with a sickened stomach. Especially one that sticks far beyond the effects of a potion.

You didn't see IF for weeks. Weeks turned to months. Administrators turned you away when you asked. You were putting on weight though, and in muscle form. Who would have guessed that a grueling routine of training and work would make a man of you.

Even though you tried, there was no way to shake that final feeling she had given you off your mind. The IF that had been your inspiration was quickly being changed, or maybe just revealed after your naive dream had worn off.

You walked into the same old stark cafeteria, still waiting on a mission other than helping emergency responders deal with some mundane car crashes, house fires or whatever else that they didn't have the staffing for. Why would the Guild hire so many people just to keep them in permanent training? You've seen advanced, high level adventurers come back to base and be set onto doing the same boring tasks.

You take your slop and leave the cafeteria, some time alone would be nice.

The halls echo your footsteps. The cadence breaks. You turn to see a hooded figure, with a giant blue great coat obscuring the character's body and face. IF.

She sweeps the hood down, lips trembling at just the sight of you. You were right.

"Hey." is all IF manages out in a hushed voice. She brings a smile to your face.

"I was worried about you. You didn't have to run off."

IF blushes heavily, she swipes her face aside, resetting her expression to a less pleasant grimace.

"I didn't want to leave you hanging."

You breathe for the first time since this encounter started.

"IF~"

Her face puckers.

The moment your mouth opens, IF clamps a hand over it.

She pulls you into a nearby room.

"Listen to me, I-I'm not gonna repeat this, so you better listen."

IF is shaking, you can feel her unease in her grip.

"I dunno what you did to me, but I-I've never had a problem with ignoring guys… but you. What is so special about you?!"

Is this a confession? Your first confession?

IF turns, looking quite agitated.

"Go ahead, laugh me out of the room. Make this easy." IF grumbles.

There's a blossom in your heart. It won't be killed that easily.

"IF."

She looks at you over her shoulder, arms folded.

"I like you too IF!"

Her head turns back, hiding a ferocious blush.

"F-F-Flattery isn't going to ge-get you anywhere!"

It takes all of your courage, but… Who gets a chance to date someone they've looked up to their whole life?

"IF, I don't know your schedule, but can we find a day for a date?"

"A DATE!?" IF repeats while and in between hyperventilating.

"Uh, yeah I think-"

IF steps to you, leaning towards you. Despite her hammering heart, she gains a sudden calmness, as she bears with her usual professionalism.

"Coffee shop, corner of East 150th and Eggman, Saturday, 1100. Meet me."

Your heart can't stop hammering, even hours after that. Holy shit, this is real. You've got a date with IF, this Saturday. Sleeping is going to be impossible for the next few days... but here's for the best.


	2. Chapter 2

For any man, this day would be exhilarating. It's impossible to calm down, your heart soars at the prospect. A date with IF. Well, maybe not any man. IF is, well IF. She's short, has at best an A-cup chest, a meagre behind (really a lack of much curves at all) and a somewhat stonewalled personality. For you though, you've seen just a crevice, a little crack in that wall. What you've seen in IF forces you onwards; to see everything that that heart holds.

You wander into Planeptune proper, with a beaming smile and heart.

You can spot that brunette mane from a half-mile, she sits calmly at a outdoor table. The distance between you two seems to evaporate.

"Hi."

IF nervously hides her hands in her coat pockets.

"H-hi."

You sit opposite to her.

"To be honest, I don't even really like coffee. I just wanted to be alone for a bit."

IF looks down, she fidgets with her own hands.

"I don't want 'us' getting out. I don't want people to see me any different. You've made it hard enough asking around."

"Why?"

IF leans in.

"If you get any sort of promotion and we're figured out, everyone will assume that you just got bumped up by me. Plus, it's weird."

"Being in a relationship is weird?"

IF looks a little angry.

"I don't care. We keep it away from my friends, period. I'll never hear the end of it-"

"I guess." That conversation put a bit of a damper on your mood.

IF picks your hand up, it tingles with every shift of her fingers.

"I don't want a normal date. Let's go out on an adventure."

"I don't want to slow you down. You've got a lot more experience than me."

"No way. As long as you can pull off stunts like that tsunami you made, I'm sure you can whip anything I can."

"Let's go."

IF refuses to get closer than a few inches from your side until you get out of town. She glances over her shoulder as you enter the wilderness. You can feel the thick canvas of her coat impress on your side.

Her fingers tickle yours, but don't connect. She doesn't make much an effort either, IF is beet red as is.

You lean into her a bit.

"Butterfingers? Here!"

Your hand wraps around hers. IF's shoulders scrunch up as she pushes a cheek into your shoulder.

"There couldn't be a reason why you've put us on a path with very few monsters, could there?"

"No- No way, we'll get serious, I swear!"

"~We~ get serious?"

IF's eyes flood with shock.

"St-stop it!" she says, voice starting to tremor with a hint of anger.

You chuckle. IF really is cute and she doesn't even try to be. It's time to let off her for a bit, and maybe let her relax. Your slight-of-hand surprises both of you. IF sweeps off the ground, settling in your arms. With one arm in the soft spot under her knees and the other giving a nice support across her back, you keep walking.

"Pu-Put me down! I can walk by myself!"

"But don't you like this?" You ask as you pull her a little closer.

IF is stumbling over her own tough exterior as she tries to respond, or to even think of a response.

"I-I… Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

IF wraps her arms loosely around your chest.

"If you're gonna carry me… fine. Just don't drop me." she murmurs.

With the extra weight, walking does take more effort, but it's worth it. IF visibly tries to decide what she should do, soon choosing the option you wished for. Her legs tighten together making her already slender frame even more scarce.

"Something wrong IF?"

She looks up into your eyes.

"N-no… I just want you to call me something else."

Your heart hammers. A nickname already?

"Can… you call me 'Aiefu'?"

She leans into your breast, keeping a straight shot to your eyes.

"Alright, Aiefu, how about-"

The way IF- no, Aiefu, responded to that name. Her eyes shone back at yours, you could see the slightest mist coming about her forest green irises. IF wiped the corners of her eyes, grinning and giving a nervous laugh.

"I-I've never had a guy do any of this for me... never call me cute… or call my name that way…"

"Not once?"

"Never…" she whimpers.

All of this is such a break from her usual persona. So this is the real IF, the one that hides in her heart. It makes your very soul soar to see this IF.

"Well, I don't just say this stuff, I do mean it. I hope that I'll be the only guy to ever call you cute too."

"I-Idiot… don't say cra-crazy stuff…" IF can't even keep acting upset.

You set Aiefu down. She immediately steps back into a hug, nuzzling your body. She settles for a moment, only to look back up at your eyes.

"Th-Thanks for the date… I think we can go now."

The temptation is too much. You settle a hand into Aiefu's luscious walnut colored hair. You slowly massage her scalp, the longer you go, the less tense IF's body is. Her head starts to sway with the motion of your hand. Even though you learned later that it had only been a few moments, it felt like hours that you had caressed IF. She peeled away from your chest with a bashful smile.

"N-next time, we'll adventure for real. I-I swear!"

You smile back, taking her hand as you leave with her. IF is beaming the entire way to the forest's border, chatting and laughing with you. The moment she sees buildings, she clams up, becoming cold and embarrassed.

"Next time?" you ask.

IF turns to face you.

"Uh. I dunno, ask me later. If we do go out on an adventure, it won't be for the Guild. I would say about three weeks from now that I'll be able to tell you. Have to give warning that I'll be gone, you know?"

"Sure, I'll go back first. I'll miss you."

IF gives you one last smile.

"Don't get too impatient, we're gonna have to wait all the time. I-I'll miss you too."

She'll miss you. In fact, she missed you more than you'll ever know.

Waiting is agony. Every mundane task completed is a reminder that you're not with IF.

Waiting for your second date with IF might as well be hell. At least things had become more busy, the work took your mind off the gleaming smile that was still ingrained in your mind. The more you got in the field, the more you came to realize that the Guild damn near held civilization together. The reigning nation did "sort of" enough but in the end, the Guild did most of the heavy lifting.

It wasn't the CPUs that kept a perimeter around the monster breakouts that happened. The CPUs didn't cart the injured to hospitals or sweep out the trash mobs and keep the various hostile groups at bay and isolated. The Guild seemed to do everything short of actually kill the big bosses of evil. They had your group working cleanup while another spent time almost non-stop in the field, a sort of break system for the battle weary.

Anyways.

IF had shuffled one of her phone numbers to you. It made waiting a bit easier at times, and more difficult at others. Aiefu had told you that she was free this coming Friday and you had all weekend to go out. Three days was better than one, so you had no reason to complain.

You laid in bed, unable to sleep. The light of the stars spackled the night as you uneasily tried to catch at least a little rest. Eventually, fatigue overtook you, letting your daydreams of IF and your mind fade.

Morning always comes too soon though, especially after nights particularly lacking in sleep. You rolled a few MREs and a half shelter into your light pack before heading out to meet IF. Your new girlfriend had been exceptionally concerned about someone seeing you two this time and met you in the forest this time. The trees were nearly barren, and the air was crisp.

"Oi, you ready?" calls a familiar voice.

IF is standing with hand on hip, waiting patiently for you to take her extended opposite hand. You gave her a look up and down while approaching. Thigh high black socks, a turtleneck black sweater, a red plaid scarf and mittens with foldable fingers all made IF into quite the sight. She pulls her scarf down as soon you get close.

"Hey, it's gonna get cold tonight. I hope you've brought enough gear."

"I'm fine, let's go!"

Aiefu's fingers curl into the palm of your hand as you accept her. IF wastes no time in pulling snug to your side.

"Jeez, that was quick." you joke.

"Id-Idiot- I told you I missed you…"

The wind kicks some dust around as you two venture into the foothills nearby Planeptune. A rock makes for a pleasant bench to share with IF for a moment. You warm her rosy cheeks with bare hands before heading out again. She's bizarrely quiet today.

"Aiefu, you're being quiet, is everything OK?"

The girl looks away, off into the stark landscape that appears just before winter.

"Everyone thinks I'm so responsible and cool. I don't get to be anything else."

She pauses, looking back at you for a moment before continuing.

"Well, except with you~ You seem to like me always."

"This is our second date now-"

"Third-ish…" she says with a hushed tone.

"Don't you remember the forest? I was so embarrassed..." she nervously says before chuckling.

"Was that really a date though?"

IF shrinks in her buttoned-up coat, not making eye contact.

"I-I wanted… to tell you how I felt… I couldn't though..."

"Well, we did go out on a walk together, and we got to spend some time together, so it's close enough right?"

IF smiles again and glances into your eyes.

"That's a nice way of thinking about it."

The stone beneath you is cold, yet you stay with IF. She seems to have reverted already to silence.

"IF."

A snuffle is her response. Her eyes are welling up. You wrap her in a hug, but she just starts crying more. Her complaint starts loudly but tapers off quickly.

"I don't wanna be strong! I wanna eat sweets and be cozy! I wanna… I want to have you around..."

"Hey now, I'm here for you. Do you want to keep going or hug it out?"

IF puts all of her strength into her grasp on you. Hugs it is. After a good long embrace, IF finally gives you the look that says "I feel better". You help IF wipe her eyes, she stands with you and somehow never loses grasp of you.

"You're just a magnet today~" you tease. IF slightly seems to regain her composure.

"What!? S-So?!" she manages out.

"Let's keep hiking." You pull IF under your arm.

The landscape begins to darken, you've been walking since it got bright this morning. It's about time to stop and set up your tent. You slip through the door, laying your pack in the corner and starting to unroll your sleeping bag. You've got the oddly sharp edge of an MRE entree container digging into the web of your thumb and a blank mind.

This is real. Maybe IF will… you really shouldn't be fantasizing like this. However, to have IF sleep in your arms would be a priceless memory. You put your best effort into wiping your brain as she bows down to enter the tent.

She goes through the same process as you have, but sits up on her sleeping bag.

"Big day eh?"

"Yeah." IF's shoulders slump a bit. Her expression is troubled.

"You don't think I'm a freak or anything for what I said earlier, do you?"

You smile back, damn this girl is one of a kind.

"Of course not."

IF nervously smiled back, trying her best to present the appearance that she has recovered from her unsettled mood.

"You know, IF. I like the variety, I can tell that you like just about everything you do. No reason to stop adventuring or being responsible just because you want to have hot cocoa and fresh cookies with me."

IF's eyes slide away, her smile is getting brighter and more genuine by the second.

"You would really do that with me?"

"Pffft, of course. It sounds cozy."

IF regains her constitution, folding her arms over her chest.

"Well, if that's the way you want it. I mean, I guess."

She reaches into her MRE with a spoon, fishing out some bits of mystery meat to chew on. You do the same. Despite the bland, uninteresting flavor, you devour the mixture, soon settling on your back again.

IF looks at you, laying down as well. A good long few seconds pass. IF rolls her coat into a pillow, settling into her sleeping bag. Her face turns red spontaneously. Is IF thinking of something like you were? She breaks the silence.

"S-So, uh… what do you like about me…" she nervously asks, folding her hands together over her chest.

It was only a matter of time before she asked you this.

"I like your attitude, the way you can behave so professionally and-"

"And? I guess that's a nice sentiment so far." IF raises an eyebrow.

Guess? You mean it. Right, she's not making fun of you, she's being insecure.

"Well, you've got a nice body too, so combine that with an attitude I like and you're the girl for me."

IF gasps.

"Do- Wha?"

You grin nervously.

"I mean, big breasts would get in the way in our line of work right? Plus, the smaller a girl's breasts are, the closer you can get to her heart right?"

IF stutters through her response, fumbling words as she goes.

"I-I mean, I didn't- why?"

You put an arm around her insulated body.

"Something you want to-"

IF gives a shocked, agape expression before breaking into a slight grin while speaking.

"I-I didn't know guys like you existed, I thought all guys wanted was giant boobs like Vert and those stupid supermodels in the magazines."

You match her expression, putting another arm around her small frame.

"No way, as long as a girl is cute I'm sure she can find a guy who will love her~"

"There you go again, calling me- calling me…" Iffy shakes her head, still grinning like a dumbass.

"Cute?" you try to fill in her trailing sentence.

IF leans her forehead into your chest.

"I'm not going to get over you calling me that for a long time I think."

Seeing IF like this is a weight off your heart.

"Hey, unzip your sleeping bag, it's too early to sleep!"

IF lies in her usual black strapless tube top which peeks out from her messy sweater. Her long socks just highlight her finely toned thighs with fuzzy wool.

"Happy now?" she asks.

You pull her into a close hug, getting a whiff of her hair. You'll keep her in your arms as long as she'll let you. IF's tiny frame fits in your grasp easily.

"He-Hey!" IF grabs your fullest attention.

"What?"

Her hands grab your shirt collar, she throws her weight into-

IF's lips contact your cheek. The warm sensation sends buzzing sensations through your whole body. She pulls back immediately, her eyes beg you to hold her tight. You roll into your back, pulling IF with.

"Let… let's not get too excited…" IF says with a trembling voice.

"I've never kissed before Aiefu."

IF's eyes shimmer and shake in the dying light. She's desperately working up some courage and course of action right now. Her face is just a nose length away all of a sudden.

"Aief-" Her lips cut you off.

A kiss from IF finishes the knot of your hearts with a sharp tug. IF soon retreats again.

"Good enough, right? I-I don't know… much about this romance stuff…"

"Thanks sweetie. Do-"

You've broken the girl. Was it something you said? IF's face is cherry red.

"C-come with me. Th-the…"

"Where?" you ask.

"Outside."

IF leads you out a few yards and then sits on the ground. As soon as you sit with her, she lies down, looking at the clear, cold sky. Her blue coat ripples in the slight breeze. She sighs, turning to look at you.

"I've made a real fool out of myself recently with you." IF's expression isn't nearly as cold as her tone. IF has a smile creeping into the corner of her mouth.

She continues after gazing into the glittering stars.

"I'd never thought any of this was for me. I think I know now."

"That?" The way IF worded that scares you.

"I know that I can have both, I can adventure and have, well… love."

IF plays with the top button of her coat while continuing.

"I wanna introduce you to my best friend. If we're going to be-"

IF clears her throat.

"If we're going to be, I trust her more than anyone else. I want Compa to know so she stops worrying about me."

"Sounds reasonable." you comment.

"So, can we go on Sunday to meet her? She's usually worried sick that I'm lonely or something."

"Sure. I'm sure that's not the only reason you drug me out here into the cold though."

IF sits up, leaning on her knees.

"I'd show you my stars. Not that it's that important…"

You take IF's side, leaning your head into the side of hers.

"Show me."

IF extends an arm, pointing at a grouping of three stars in a straight line.

"I call it 'The Guildmaster's belt' when teaching recruits how to navigate, they usually get a laugh out of it."

"Because of how oversized your belt is?"

"What else?" IF's usual dry tone comes out. IF's voice relaxes while she explains.

"They're my stars because they're easy to find and when I was a kid, I knew I could always see them. The night is a good time for magic so I was always out when they were. Maybe I felt close to them because I was always alone on my late night excursions."

IF nervously scratches the back of her head with a nervous full face smile, eyes closed and everything.

"Silly kids right?"

"I don't think it's silly, I like it."

IF grins.

"I told you flattery wouldn't get you anywhere."

As soon as one of you two yawns, the stargazing is over. You might not share a sleeping bag, but IF's sweet sleeping face a mere twitch away is more than enough.

Your eyes peel open to a stiff morning. You don't want to leave your sleeping bag with how cold it is outside. IF has pulled deep into her sleeping back, her resting face still barely visible through the tightly pulled drawstring.

"IF!" You call out, trying to wake the girl without leaving the comfort of your current confines. Your beloved turns over, mumbling before settling again.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIF!" The girl barely peels an eye open.

"Eeeehh… a minute longer…"

You inchworm to IF, flopping over her.

"Sheesh, I'll get up…" she groans.

IF's thin frame leans out even further as she stretches, giving you a hint of her belly. The moment that she notices you're watching she tries her best to pull the hem of her clothes down.

"Don't just stare weirdo!"

As soon as you're dressed, you and IF tackle the mountains. The increasingly frozen trail demands that the two of you layer up with extra clothes from your packs. IF pulls her scarf down, sending a tremendous plume of moisture from her face with each breath.

"This, this is crazy. Even this late in the season, there must be some ice monster making the conditions more extreme."

As soon as she finishes speaking, a gust sends a flurry of snow into the air, leaving the two of you with nearly no visibility. You pull IF into your arms, her face is filled with concern.

"I'm sure of it now. I don't think we can leave a monster to run free out there either."

The storm clears, letting the cold sky return.

"Well, you scared it off IF, good job."

Her jaw clenches, she looks angry almost.

"I can feel the magic in the air, let me go."

IF slips from your grasp, stomping up the hill. She slides into a pose, confidently preparing her own magic.

"OF FIRE AND DEMONS, I SMITE YOU!"

IF throws an arm forwards.

"APOCALYPSE FIRE STORM!"

A blood-curdling screech pierces the air and your eardrums. You and IF both duck, trying to cover your ears. A great skeleton of ice slowly disintegrates in the area of effect that IF generated.

"A wraith huh?" IF condescendingly states.

IF looks down on the creature. Something in her face tells you that she isn't satisfied. The sun of late day hovers over the horizon.

"Come on, let's go." she says, turning and starting down the mountain.

Following IF's pace gets harder as the day goes on, for having such short legs, IF can sure move. She seems to be rushing for some reason too, so you're nearly running to keep up with the girl. At that pace rather than a standard hike, you're at camp in no time.

IF sits down and starts to claw into another MRE. IF looks like she's trying her absolute best to hold something in.

"IF, tell me what's going on in there." you ask while squatting next to her.

IF looks at you. It takes a while for her increasingly gloomy face to respond.

"Can we talk in the tent? I-"

"No more IF, I'll wait in there for you." You head inside.

The zipper makes it's loud travel across the curvature of the door. IF steps in, kneeled over to accommodate the short roof. She strips her coat off, revealing her all black garments again before sitting in front of you.

"So, what is it IF?"

IF puts her hands on your knees.

"I…"

IF nervously gulps loudly.

"I'm worried that something bad will happen to us when we're out adventuring."

You have to stifle a mischievous grin. Of all people, IF is being a worry-wart?

"We've made it this far, I'm sure we're all right Aiefu."

IF leaps at you, clutching the collar of your shirt. Her expression is nothing but a cold, serious deathly glare. With you sprawled out on the ground and IF sitting on your chest, and both of your faces nearly pressing together, IF speaks. The moment her lips open, her expression melts and every little piece of her emotions are out on display. IF rubs moisture out of one of her eyes.

"DON'T BE SO LIGHT ABOUT THIS!" A single tear falls on your face. IF is shaking, her oddly paced gasps for air unsettle you.

"Yeah, it's weird, it's stupid and irrational, but I still love you, you- you big damn idiot!" IF wraps her arms around your neck.

"IF…"

She gazes into your eyes, expecting some burst of strength.

"We're in this together. I'm not worried because I think that together we're damn near invincible. I love you too, but that's no reason to stop doing what we both love. Plus together things are better I think."

IF cowers, putting her chin on your shoulder. IF's beautiful long chocolate colored hair curtains over your face. It smells like morning campfire, sweat, wilderness and more than anything, IF. It's an indescribably appealing scent, despite how odd it might seem to be. Your hand finds the back of your beloved's head, calmly massaging her scalp while she tries to crush you in a hug.

"We're going to see Compa tomorrow. Don't make a fool of me in front of her." IF begs.

"I'll try." you tease.

"You're impossible." she says with a chuckle. IF's face softens into a smile. Your hand stops for a moment.

"Hey now, why'd you-" she complains.

"Oi, I get it." You hurriedly respond, starting to pet IF again.

"Sleep tight IF, I'll make sure to wake you up again."

"Night." IF pecks you with a kiss.

Now how are you supposed to sleep?


	3. Chapter 3

Planeptune is home to many, granted it's without a doubt the smallest nation among the four. However, where home is always seems to be the most important. Your girlfriend IF absolutely refuses to show you affection within the proximity of anyone else so far, but you don't mind. After a two night camping trip together, you've come to meet with IF's childhood best friend: Compa.

IF pauses before knocking on the door of what you presume to be Compa's apartment. The scent of home cooking wafts from the dwelling.

"So, no funny business. Alright?" IF states with her arms folded over her chest.

"Of course."

IF hesitates, finger hovering over the door bell for a moment before she commits.

*Ding dong~*

The sound of someone tripping and falling rings out from right behind the door. An impressively fluffy girl with strawberry blonde hair nearly to her lower back pulls the door open from her knees. Compa rubs her head with the other hand while giving a sheepish smile..

"AI-CHAN!" The girl calls out.

Before you can even react, Compa has crushed IF in a hug. IF pats her friend on the back, giving a proper greeting to the enthusiastic lady.

Compa freezes upon noticing you.

"Wh-Who's this guy IF?"

IF shrinks in her coat.

"I'll explain, can we come in?"

"Of course!"

You sit on a blanket and pillow coated loveseat with IF. Your girlfriend nervously fiddles with her hands. From the kitchen, Compa's homely voice asks:

"Either of you want tea or sweets?"

"We're fine. Can you come here?" responds IF.

Compa sits opposite to you two, happily bobbing for a moment before focusing.

"You don't usually come over for no reason, do you just need some lunch?"

IF's hands clench onto her knees.

"C-Compa… I… I want you to meet… my- my…"

"I'm IF's boyfriend." You pipe up.

Compa freezes, beaming, mouth agape smile still painted onto her face. Somehow, without her mouth even moving, Compa starts to make a "squee-ing" sound. Once she's recovered enough from the shock, Compa begins her assault.

"HOLY CRACKERS! My IF has a handsome boyfriend!? You're so CUTE together!"

Compa seems to possess otherworldly powers, she's got both of you under her arms, crushing you and IF together instantaneously. You can see the nonverbal 'Oh god what have I done" on IF's face.

Compa retreats slightly, letting you and IF have some breathing room.

"So, what am I getting you two for a housewarming gift? I bet you two could use a BIG cozy blanket to cuddle under right?"

IF's expression is closer to someone being shot over and over by little arrows than anything else. Her eyes are vacant as Compa continues her attack. Compa's eyes grow into saucers after a long pause.

"Don't… tell me. You're telling me this because you're gonna have BABIES IF?"

"WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAT?!" IF scrambled any spare portion of her brain to respond.

Compa pounds a fist into an open palm.

"I KNEW IT!"

IF presses a hand onto her forehead, running a hand through her own hair.

"I know you're easily excited Compa, but please. Calm. Down."

Compa might have slightly realized that she had gone too far. She pipes down pretty quickly. IF sighs before explaining.

"I wanted to bring him by so you could see him and know that I'm doing fine." IF looks up and smiles.

"He's been good to me so far, I just wanted you to see the person I'm spending all my free time with. I…" IF trails off after starting so strong.

IF steels herself, firmly gripping your hand.

"I love him. So if we do have something big happen between us, whatever it is, I want you to be there for some part of it. Even if it's just bringing a blanket over to make a place feel more like home."

Compa grins.

"Aiefu, you're being CUTE again! Did he do this to you?"

"No way." scoffs a bashful IF.

IF's body language is as telling to Compa as it is for you.

"You're suuuuuure?~" Compa chimes.

You finally manage to drag IF away, a few more exchanges into her friend's debatably unintentional attack. It takes surprising effort to free the nearly comatose girl from her best friend. You thank Compa before barely escaping with IF in tow.

IF takes her time parting with you. On one of the many landings in the apartment building that houses Compa, she pulls on your sleeve, urging you to stop.

The thin, tall single window lets the sun of late day shine through on the two of you. In the silence before rush hour, IF settles into your shoulder.

"I don't know when I'll be available again, but…"

IF's hands creep up your chest, she presses into you. Your hands cover hers and take them into grasp slowly. IF's shaky, gleaming eyes demand your whole attention.

"I- I wouldn't mind a- uh, fancy d-date next time. I- I mean, I guess it would just be 'normal' but uh, it- it would be fun to try it."

You crack a smile.

"Sure, how about we go out shopping and get dinner next time?"

IF gains a burning blush.

"Ye-Yeah. I'll try my best."

"Oh, don't be that way~"

You bend just enough to be near her adorably flustered face.

"Aiefu~" you tease quietly. Her face shifts away immediately.

Your fingers tickle IF's jaw immediately turning her around. IF gulps but puckers her lips for a kiss. You take initiative, tasting Aiefu's sweet, soft kiss. IF pulls you into a stranglehold, wrapping her arms around your neck and locking you against her lips.

Gasping, you both pull away for a heartbeat. Still trapped in the other's embrace, you find yourself pressing your love against the wall as both of you try to get more kisses out of the other. While panting, IF leans away while desperately trying to regain her breath.

"Please… take me out again. B-Being with you-"

"I get it. Trust me, I'll take you on as many dates as you want."

IF bites her lip, almost giving you an angry glare.

"You jerk~ making me wait."

The way IF's expressions flip in an instant make your heart gallop. With IF's hand in yours, you make your way home to the Guild. You have to think about it after the fact but…

She didn't let go of you. Her hand was always in yours tonight.

IF wasn't wrong at all, each season seemed to be a roulette of work. Some were jam-packed, others consisted of sunbathing and busy work.

The Guild wasn't so lucky this winter.

Lowee got snowed in a few weeks in a row leading to massive efforts to relieve overburdened infrastructure and that weather drove their monsters into the surrounding nations. Everyone except a skeleton crew of desk workers were deployed. Being deployed in unison with a battalion of battle fit secretaries was sure to drive your girlfriend crazy. IF did her best to keep in contact despite the near daily communication outages. Just a picture of Aiefu's shining dark green eyes was enough to improve your day. It was a bit more difficult to take your online DnW game seriously now that you knew that the Dungeon Master was your girlfriend but you still played along and acted like you had no clue. If you moved in with IF, you might get drafted to help her write the next event or outcome. Ah… Moving in with IF. It was a far off dream to imagine, but your heart swooned at the thought of IF cooking, lazing about while she wrote in comfortable but cute clothes, all among a million other fantasies.

You rolled over weakly in your sleeping bag. It was hard to sleep with IF on your mind.

With each waking, your heart ached to see your beloved a little more. One of the secretaries that noticed your expression.

"Are you alright?"

"Just missing someone. No big deal."

The woman unfolded her glasses and donned them, leaning in.

"YOU of all people have a girlfriend?!"

Aww… damn it. This was the same lady that had you had to answer to when you were late the first day. What a system the Guild had; shame you in front of your peers and then again by the bureaucracy to rub it in.

"How'd you figure I was missing a girl?"

"Duh, you guys don't ever miss each other like you do girls."

She smiles and continues.

"She must be a very lucky lady to be missed so much. Just because I had to make fun of you last time doesn't mean I have to again. That is unless you're late for a date with her. Then you'll invite my wrath again."

Her kindness brings a smile back to your face. IF is definitely missing you too. The warm sentiment of being missed is enough to sustain you. You'll surely see IF again and feel her luscious hair under and through your fingers again… maybe hear her sweet voice again.. Ah. You're trailing off at the mere thought of IF.

Seeing a company of office workers so easily mingling with adventurers wouldn't happen anywhere except for the Guild. Their kind attitudes add some sugar and spice at the same time to the haphazard taskforce. Breakfast is a production like any other meal, with plenty of energy behind every set of eyes. Such a pleasant time seems to just skip by in the grand scheme of things.

Imageboards are an effective way to consume time as you scroll through pages, occasionally saving things you like. Anime boards are the best, with their image dumps of adorable girls in all sorts of outfits. Tanktop and shorts? Saved. Frilly dress and lace? Saved. Who cares about storage space when you can have a fountain of cute pictures to give some peace to your heart in this crazy world.

As part of the encirclement of Lowee, your detachment patrols part of the Lastation border. Since the Guild is severely short on manpower due to the number of rescuers needed and men to corral the fleeing monsters. The condition made patrols interesting, you refined your magic in the process of frying whatever mooks that evaded the Mobile Task Force. Your lady was on that task force…

Even though it unsettled you, no one was a better fit for such a job. IF would probably rope you into one of those special task forces one day. Behaving as light infantry wasn't your strong point, the super lightweight travel that they performed barely even allotted weight for food. Then again, the largely untouched nature was sure to yield delicious game and plenty of edible plants given the proper time of year.

A stiff gust whipped the air from your lungs, sending a vortex of snow up as well. Such is life in the field. You wipe your goggles and keep walking.

You snuck away from the camp later that night. Your contact picture for IF (a bashful but proud picture of you two together) appeared on your phone, buzzing and demanding your attention.

You slide the green emblem along, putting the device to your ear.

"Hi~"

Just hearing her voice made things better. You chimed back at her. You can feel the mutual grins, like children doing something they're not supposed to.

IF clears her throat, still obviously very happy to hear you.

"So, we're withdrawing VERY soon, I want go on leave in Lowee with you during the chaos that will be moving our entire Guild back to Planeptune."

"You have something in mind…?"

The phone emits scuffling sounds as IF moves nervously.

"Ehh-eh yeah. I... I wanna go get a drink together. Just a drink."

You're grinning like an idiot, if only IF could see your face right now.

"Message me the address, I'll make it no matter what."

IF's stern voice returns.

"If they need you, no bailing out just to go on a date with me. I- I-... I can wait, it's not a b-big deal."

Her voice breaks down, becoming soft and teary.

"IF, you're a strong girl, don't cry on me~" You tease.

"I-I am-am not! I-I'm just happy you jackass!" She chokes out in between muffled sniffles before continuing with a slightly stronger voice.

"There's a mall I want to visit with you. We can do that fancy date we agreed on."

"Uh, I don't think either of us have clothes for that…"

"I-I th-thought that was- would be fun to do together… We could help pick an outfit that we liked for each other…" IF confesses.

"Oh-Only if its OK with you!" She quickly follows after a pause.

"Of course, I like it. I'll see you then, OK Aiefu?"

"Alright… See you too. Night… Hon-honey… I- I- nevermind..."

You laugh quietly.

"You too sweetie. Night." Beep. The silence of night sets into your mind. Time to sleep.

Lowee's capital city can only be described as the love child of Santa's Workshop and a sort of rainbow minaret. While the bright colors are cheery, it leads to a very particular aesthetic that makes it pretty difficult to be serious about much of anything. IF stands at the mall entrance, leaning against a wall with her hot pink phone in hand. Somehow, IF notices your presence immediately.

"Hi." IF's fingers sneak into your hand immediately.

"Jumping right for the kill today?"

IF points her nose to the sky away from you.

'Don't make it sound so bad, I just want to change so no one recognizes me."

"Then why are you holding my hand Aiefu?"

"Aaaaaaah! You're impossible!" IF pulls her hand back as if retreating from a hot object.

She pulls you along, grumbling while she wanders through the interior of a clothes store, trying her inexperienced best to find an area of the store with clothes her size. She settles on the teen section, despite barely fitting those and almost being 19.

IF emerges from the changing room in a green spaghetti strap tank top with tight denim shorts.

"Whaddya think?"

"Eh, I thought I was supposed to choose." You barely finish before IF retreats again, the sound of fabric shuffling follows until she reappears.

"How about now?"

IF has done a complete image change, going for a frilly winter dress. Lace peeks out from under the heavy turtleneck top.

"Better, but can I please choose?"

IF turns red and bunches her fists up.

"Th-This is what you like, right!?"

You haven't told her anything about your preferences. Wha- Right. She's the Guild Master.

"You snooped on me didn't you?!"

IF shoves a finger into your chest.

"I-I totally DIDN'T! P-Pick something then!"

"You could've asked Aiefu, I would've told you.'

"J-just pick already! I get it, you don't like this outfit!"

"I like it, just save it for another time…"

You send IF back into the changing room, this time with your own choices in her hands. When she emerges… your heart stops. This is that cute IF you love to see.

She edges towards you, toes pointed in. IF is walking pigeon toed like a girl! A friendly beige long sleeve V-neck sweater covers a white blouse on IF's slender abdomen. Aiefu's toned yet slender legs are obscured by moderately dark nylon stockings and a ruffled skirt. Black clogs round out the adorable sight with long grey wool socks going to just below her knees. IF's hair sits back in a ponytail tied by her usual green leaf bow except for her bangs and two mini-tails that frame her gorgeous green eyes and…

"Aiefu…"

IF can't respond, she grabs at the neck of her sweater nervously.

She did put some makeup on. It isn't much, but it accents her usual fire-red blush. You set hands on both of her arms before pulling the girl into a hug.

"This is perfect. I want this one."

IF tries her best, but has difficulty keeping up in this outfit. She's used to combat boots, not slip-on clogs. She nearly falls over herself before accepting your help.

"Aiefu, you know that girls use a guy to help support them in these types of clothes right?"

"Bu-but…" She stammers.

"Here, take my arm."

IF's eyes shine with vulnerability. She pulls in close, leaning into your bicep. After just a few steps, IF is nuzzling your arm ever so slowly.

"I-I get it now~" she murmurs.

"I told you. Anyways, now you get to choose for me."

IF crams you into a dress shirt, tie and black slacks. You two make for an extremely well dressed and also mostly unrecognizable couple. Twin girls run past you in the hallways of the mall, their steps echoing off the glossy stone floors as the girl in a blue dress struggles to keep up with her sister.

You hear "Raaaaam~! Waiiiit for meeee~!" fade out of perception.

IF leans over the balcony, pulling you along as she looks down onto the ice skating rink in the center.

"I'm so tired of ice… but with you… it's almost pretty." IF sighs as she leans on the railing. An other-worldly force compels you to hold her. Despite all the people, she's stretching for a kiss. Maybe it's because there's so many people that she feels safe. IF's lips are as always, like fresh fruit straight off a tree or a mother's baked goods: delicious. Her whole existence quivers nervously, anxious due to the mounting crowds. After an uneasy giggle, IF returns to your arm, holding on for dear life among the masses.

You're lost in a crowd together. Among all these people, it doesn't matter who you are. Tired of the bustling horde, you two retreat to a side hall, finding a bench among a series of aromatic sweet shops. School aged girls bunch up around the overwhelmed staff, further inundating the hall with the delectable smell of fresh cookies, candy and pastries.

The relative calmness of this area is much more your pace. IF visibly relaxes and pulls her feet out of her shoes and kicks softly from her seat on the bench. She turns to you, straightening up to speak. IF's face becomes rosy in the heat of the moment.

"T-thanks… This is. Uh, I wouldn't have done this alone. I-"

"It's been fun Aiefu, now relax sweetie, enjoy~!"

IF sighs, slouching into the wall.

"Jeeez…" IF's hands rush to find non-existent pockets on her skirt, settling into the sweater.

"You don't have to act or pretend for me, I'll love you either way." You state.

IF's eyes widen, her smile loosely returning.

"I- I like this… it's silly but it's fun. It's not really acting, it's just something I never get to do. It's hard being so important."

IF leans forwards, setting her hands on the bench. Your lady is extremely emotive, by body language alone you can start to understand what she's about to say. As soon as you lean in, IF buries her face in her hands, hiding a nerve wracked expression.

"You can wait to talk right? We haven't gotten a snack yet."

IF clenches her fists, setting them on her knees. She gives a nervous smile before responding.

"Hehe, well, truth is, I've gotten so worked up that I lost my appetite…"

"Aief-"

IF straightens her back and turns to you, taking one of your hands in hers.

"D-Don't get your mind in the gutter! But… I want- I want to live together!"

IF is shaking, she's trying her best to keep a smile on.

"We-We don't get to spend enough time to-together… it's the only way with our work."

IF regains her composure in her usual rapid fashion, quickly folding her arms over her chest.

"Don't think we're gonna share a bed or anything…"

"...immediately…" She quietly mumbles.

After pulling IF into a hug, you give your response.

"Of course I'm going to agree. You feel more in the mood for a pastry yet?"

IF talks in the tiniest voice you've ever heard from her.

"Yeah."

However, IF was not out of the fire yet. If anything, your poor girlfriend had just jumped straight from the fire to the crater of a volcano.

An extremely small light brown haired girl with the two twin girls from earlier are at one of the counters. You hadn't realized how small the trio was, at most the older sister might've pushed 4 foot 6. The younger ones are busy bickering over sweets but you seem to have attracted the attention of the older one. Her figure is obscured by a luxurious beige wool coat that goes down to her mid thigh. A darker wool "worker" flat cap rests on her head. The girl's legs are largely exposed outside of white knee socks and some embellished flats. She makes an approach, calmly striding across the hall, each step clicking slightly on the tile floors.

IF looks up and immediately slides away from you. IF's expression is somewhere between pure embarrassment and "fight vs flight". The stress is immediately apparent and displays itself all over IF.

"B-Blanc! Wha-What are you doing here?"

Blanc's sedated poker face slips into a slight smile.

"I could ask you the same thing."

Blanc's eyes switch over to you, darting over your features. There's a piercing chill to her sky blue eyes. The spotlight is off you as the nearly stoic girl continues.

"Your boyfriend, right IF?"

IF folds her arms over her chest. She puts on her usual defense with her little remaining courage.

"Yeah, so?"

"I thought I was talking to IF, not Noire." This statement elicits a genuine smile in Blanc who stumbles as the hot pink detailed little sister crashes into her back with the blue girl in tow.

"Hey! Blan- wait, IF is here all of a sudden?" The pink girl is disproportionately loud to her size.

"Ram, what do you think of those two?"

The blue sister timidly approaches you.

"You're IF's boyfriend?"

"Yeah. It's hard for IF to accept though." Just looking at the girl fills your heart with friendliness and an urge to protect that adorable little shy smile.

"Miss Nepgear likes IF, so I like IF too~"

"What's your name?"

The blue girl perks up and smiles.

"I'm Rom! Ram's twin sister~"

It dawns on you that this little girl drew your attention fully, entirely exposing IF to the others' harassment. Was this sort of teamwork planned? IF is still trying to present a strong front to the other girls, but seems to be losing. You regain focus on the scene in the middle of a conversation.

"-he loves me the way I am…" confesses an almost teary IF.

Blanc is moved. Something happened over there while you were zoned out. Ram has disappeared, but Blanc is now comforting IF.

"He really likes -achem- those less gifted in the chest region?" Blanc inquires.

IF repeats what you had told her with an almost gleeful vigor.

"I see… it seems Vert was wrong. It must fill your heart when he tells you all those things that lovers do." Blanc is bizarrely skilled at wording given the quiet and stoic appearance she had given earlier. Blanc lies a hand over her own heart, repeating the words you had once said.

"-the closer you can get to her heart." Blanc's eyes wander.

"Even though I was going to take pictures and send them to Neptune so she could tease you, the more we speak, the better I feel. I wish I had spoken with you more during our adventures IF. Good luck on your date, I'll try to keep my sisters out of your hair."

IF slides back to you as Blanc departs, sisters in a vortex around her.

IF looks down, ashamed.

"I let it all slip. I don't know why… the moment she asked why I- I loved you…"

"Rom stole my attention, I wish I could've backed you up."

IF's eyes flicker, those green eyes gaining a shimmer.

"It's fine. It was… good for me. It's not so weird to have a boyfriend. I'm still shaking… but I-"

"Aiefu?"

The mall is clearing out as night truly starts to set in with the clock chiming eight. IF clutches the slack of her sweater in vain.

"I- I'm not going to keep hiding how I feel about you… it hurts to be out on patrol and not be able to tell you…"

"IF, come on, I know you can tell me."

"I'm MAD at myself dumbass, what do you expect from me?!" she retorts angrily before slinking back into the plush collar of her sweater.

"I- I finally got to talk with you over the phone and I couldn't even tell you that I loved you! Just being apart from you after that hurt..."

Holding IF in your arms is all you want right now. The bravest girl on the battlefield of blades is the most timid on that of love. That hard stone bench was etched in your mind along with the sweet smell of sugar and cinnamon.


	4. Chapter 4

Living with IF wasn't perfect. There was little squabbles over space and how things should be done, but they were minor. The apartment was small, a single bedroom and bath with a living room attached to a kitchen. Your first anniversary was a month away. IF had told you that "until you put a ring on her finger, you weren't sharing a bed". That was fine. In the end, what mattered was little moments like now.

IF wore an old t-shirt of yours like a dress with an apron over that. Her hair was lazily tied behind her head as she tried her best to cook you breakfast.

Your mind wandered… when would be a good time to ask her. You two had been together for almost a year now.

IF's expression is strained as she presents a plate of…

Something?

The most recognizable thing on the plate is the eggs. The hash brown potatoes are blackened and the meat is in a similar condition.

Maybe you had been too sentimental earlier. IF hadn't cooked for herself since she was a little girl, since then she had been in the Guild with dedicated cooks. Anyways… while suppressing a gag reflex and a grimace you take a bite.

It's somehow both over and under seasoned, burnt and dry. Your criticism is honestly going easy on the dish, yet you keep it to yourself. As hard as you try, you can't even fake liking it.

"Maybe try again tomorrow?" You proposition to IF who flops onto the couch immediately.

"Go ahead, fire your girlfriend." She whines with a sorrow filled voice. IF bears a pouting face.

You take her head into your lap. Her eyes blankly stare up into yours.

"Come on, it's just practice. I'm not mad or anything. You don't complain in training, why is this a big deal?"

IF slinks over your lap, hanging her head over the arm of the couch.

"I thought girls were just naturally good at this stuff. I'm like the worst girlfriend ever at this rate."

"Obviously not Aiefu, that's why I'm here to cheer you on. I know a little about cooking, maybe we could do it together?"

She gives a pouting expression with the corner of her mouth bunching up before folding her arms.

"Just for one time, I'll teach you some stuff." You promise.

IF spins off the couch and stands up, intentionally making each step heard. She reappears with her usual black tube top and shorts on, pulling her coat over her arms in a hurry. IF raises an eyebrow at your inactivity.

"Come on, are you gonna wait around all day? Get packed!"

Everything seems to bear a grey hue due to the overcast skies. IF is readjusting her hair as you hike together along the road. She regains her usual single side tail among her lower back length of milk chocolate hair. She reaches into her satchel for a sip of water, re affixing the cap as she speaks with you.

"I'm good at this, I'll make something so much better out here."

"You're sure it just didn't taste good because you were starved?"

"Shut it- Plus…"

"It has been a while since we went on a date, hasn't it." You comment.

IF shrugs, but she turns her face away in a poor attempt to hide her pleasure. You munch on a stray piece of hardtack in an attempt to calm your rumbling stomach.

"Yeah sure. You know your edible plants right?"

"Good enough."

You stand with IF before the forest. A thick intermediate layer of grasses and shrubbery makes up the 30 meters or so between civilization and the great wilderness. IF doesn't hesitate but gives your coat sleeve a tug before marching through the barrier.

In that short space, the environment goes from a city to a dense old growth temperate rainforest. Vast evergreens dim the ground level, leaving small plants to contend for the thin strands of light that peek through the nearly complete coverage. IF gives you a little more space than usual, intently focused on the ingredients for her dish. She shoves a few fistfuls of early spring fiddlehead ferns into her satchel, continuing to comb for delicious rarities like wild onion or the wide variety of leafy herbs that spring bears. The quiet of the deep forest is punctuated by the chirps of various fluffy small animals and birds. IF has no qualms with taking one of those same animals down and gutting it.

IF wraps her hands around a dead tree, pulling mossy boughs from it and snapping them into smaller pieces. She dusts lichen and dry bark off her hands before kneeling under the wide natural umbrella of a spruce. IF pulls a pile of dead needles off the gnarled roots of the tree and takes a knee at a safe distance from the nearby trees. The girl carefully makes a cone of fuel to start a fire soon after with ease. Initially, you sit on the opposite side of the fire, continuing to give IF her space.

IF's eyes sulk, you quickly find yourself on her side. Your capable Aiefu's serious exterior is almost completely false around you. Your sweetheart stirs the small tin of stew slowly, adding ingredients by cooking time. The stew looks like any other, populated with bits of meat and greenery, but something else has your attention.

IF sits in a criss-cross, teasing your hand in her own much more delicate grip. She doesn't smile like other girls, but you can tell she's as happy as could be. It might take all of her power, but IF somehow bottles her soaring heart into a satisfied thin line across her lips. If anything, IF's eyes give away her feelings in this moment. The way each thin band of color that makes up Aiefu's radiant emerald eyes catches the dim of the forest, reflecting back as the master handiwork of a jeweler would. Every faucet and cut of her eyes bears a message to you, beckoning you closer.

Your nose pokes hers, nearly rousing the two of you from this overwhelming trance like ambiance.

IF nervously blushes, cupping a hand over your cheek.

"Why do I worry about you~" she asks rhetorically.

Your arms firmly wrap around her body, pulling that same old blue coat snug to her thin frame.

"You don't have to be perfect, just Aiefu."

She kisses you, waking you from the trance.

"That's for being mushy." She says stiffly.

Her trembling lips approach yours again, her tongue ties yours up, leaving both of you panting as she parts.

"T-that's for b-being mine…"

"I love you, you blockheaded tomboy." You teasingly mock.

IF doesn't respond or come up with one of her usual dry retorts, she just tucks into your chest, pulling her arms tight around you.

"Thanks. Let's eat." She chimes while looking up from the creases of your windbreaker.

IF is smiling, fully and naturally. She isn't forcing it or anything, her feelings have just finally overpowered her defences. You hesitate, taking a spoonful of the steaming soup from your mess tin. IF's smile slips into a pout and her tone becomes more severe.

"What, are you scared or something?"

The taste is…

Delicious. What IF couldn't do with a fully equipped kitchen, she did with a spare beef seasoning packet from some ramen, a handful of foraged vegetables and a squirrel that had been minding it's own business. She expectantly waits with soft eyes, expecting and wanting to hear your voice (almost regardless of what you have to say). As you look into her pleasant expression, she smiles, seeing your pleasure.

"It's delicious sweetie~"

"Great!" IF leans into a cautious hug, taking care to not spill your stew. She sits back, filling her own tin. Something demands your attention in her, and you can't initially place it.

Your heart almost freezes as IF peacefully brushes one of the tendrils of hair that usually frames her face over an ear and blows a cloud of steam off the dish. She rapidly notices your attention and is taken aback, folding her arms. A glimmer seems to radiate from IF's eyes, maybe even from her very soul. While part of this golden sensation is that of being around another happy individual and your mutual attraction, something else is present.

"W-What?!" She almost barks.

Ah. The different feature dawns on you.

"You used some makeup today, didn't you? It loo-"

"Took you long enough! Jeez, I didn't think you were ever going to notice!" She gripes.

"It- It's because you look so good usually! We've still got some time, wanna go for a hike?"

The answer doesn't seem to be exactly good enough for IF, but she takes your hand, still pouting.

The wilds of this world are supposedly unmatched in size according to contacts in another dimension. This fact is highly visible as you and IF venture through the trees, occasionally getting glimpses of the sky through the nearly complete tree cover. The weather is worsening.

Hiking is a quiet affair, yet you feel content to just be doing something that you both enjoy. The soft patter of rain on both of your coats is soothing, without stopping, you're at the treeline, looking up at the hardy grasses and shrubs that cover the upper mountains.

IF leads, you get an occasional glimpse of her lower body through her coat vent. She notices, turning and facing you.

"S-Stop staring!"

IF angrily buttons her coat, folding her arms over her belly.

"Do you not want your boyfriend's attention or something?" You tease. IF turns red in an instant.

Right as your lips slip open, IF freezes, staring with tired eyes at the sky. Her bashful smile fades into a slight frown.

CRACK!

Lighting strikes not even a mile away. Low rumbles follow, continuing to snap and crackle through the sky. The occasional sprinkles and light rain that have persisted throughout the day soon increase to a downpour. Iffy sighs.

"I figured this would happen."

"Nothing we can do about the weather."

IF smiles, quite contrary to what either of you had previously implied.

"I- I was ready for this." Iffy sheepishly confesses.

She retrieves a pair of half shelters from her satchel, starting towards buttoning them together. IF stabs a pair of sticks into the ground as a support. She throws the waterproof shelter halves over a line between the two sticks, staking the ends to the ground as well. You kneel, taking a step into the shelter. After removing your boots, Iffy offers you a seat next to her on a blanket. You both shed your coats, splaying them out to dry on the opposite side of the tent. There isn't much room left inside, but being close to IF is fine in your book. IF hugs her knees, giving you a glance that says "hug me you idiot". You wrap an arm around Aiefu's thin shoulders, kissing the top of her head, immediately lighting her face up with a smile.

The rain is your percussion, thumping, flicking and slapping the tent, setting time for your interactions with IF.

"Did you think we would ever be this close when you confessed to me?" You ask.

IF gazes off through the downpour, wrapping a soldier's blanket around you two after a long pause. Her eyes are wracked with sorrow.

"No."

"What!?"

IF hugs her legs, releasing you. You can tell that she's tearing up but can't see after she buries her face in her knees.

"I expected yo-you to shoot me down, r-right then and there!" She manages through teary eyes.

"Aiefu… I didn't mean to-"

IF tackles you, pressing your head into your own waterlogged coat and stabbing her chin into your shoulder. IF's tears loudly fall onto the garment over your shoulder. She pulls back, smiling like an idiot.

"I love you!" IF fumbles happily.

There's only one proper response.

"I love you too~" You tousle her lengthy soft hair and take her into your arms.

IF hasn't lost her smile. She rewraps the blanket around you two, leaning into your shoulder.

"I mean it… I love you. I don't..."

You sit up, taking a seat with IF under your arm you look down into her nervous eyes. IF is desperately searching for a way to put her feelings into words.

"I-"

"You don't have to say a word Aiefu-" You pull her into your arms, kissing her as this was the only kiss you would ever get out of her again. As you release her, the same feeling of contentedness returns, the sensation that just tells you to hold IF like she would get caught by a breeze and fly away if you weren't with her.

You realize that you've been staring out the tent flaps at the storm outside with IF. The crackling lightning and downpour is impressive. There is a peace in observing, the only things you hear besides the storm is IF's very existence. What would you do without her soft breaths, her quick little heartbeat and dry quips.

"Man, this lightning is like when you took out that dragon."

IF's eyes gain a gleam, her smile becomes a nearly smug slight one sided grin.

"You want to learn from the raw and undomesticated powers of nature like a true wizard~?!"

In a simple sweep, IF is back outside, coat flapping in the breeze as water rolls off her shoulders. You've followed her, she commands you to call upon the lightning, she makes a pose and does it herself, igniting a tree a few hundred meters away.

You mimic her, shouting with all your capacity.

"LIGHTNING!"

Everything seems to turn a blinding white for a moment. The accompanying thunderclap nearly flattens the greenery surrounding your target tree, the tree itself explodes. Wood chips and partial branches probably shredded a few sheltering creatures. Everything in your body just feels heavy. Your eyes roll back in their sockets as you fall to the ground, face planting into wet grass.

Your eyes creep open in the tent again, IF still huffing and puffing from having moved you.

"Damn you're heavy! Lose some weight or something!" She complains.

"I'm not the one using her chuunibyou ideas on others to make them cast spells beyond their SP limit!"

IF stutters a few bits of gibberish out. As she regains her functions, she starts yelling.

"I AM NOT A CHUUNIBYOU! W-WHAT KINDA GIRL DO YOU THINK I AM!?"

"Posing and using elaborate ways to say things about magic?! Sounds like a chuuni to me!"

IF is steaming mad, you've really found a way to press her buttons with this one.

"At this rate you'll be- wait, the day we met you were trying to summon demons!"

"D-DID YOU F-FRY YOUR OWN BRAIN WITH THAT LIGHTNING BOLT!? STOP STOP STOP!"

IF's lips, nay, her whole body is trembling, her expression screams how uncomfortable she is. It's not mean when you think it, but IF is just adorable when she's flustered. You pull your girl deep into your arms again, massaging her head with a free hand.

"Just because I'm teasing you about it doesn't mean I don't like it. It's just another part of Aiefu, my own chuunibyou, huffy, flat chested, short tomboy."

"I- I am NOT huffy! What's with you today!?"

IF pauses, considering what she just did. She buries her face in her hands.

"You got me, good job jerk."

IF looks out at the storm and sighs.

"I guess this is the first time we share a bed, right?"

IF looks too heated to even say anything. She pulls close to you, using her pack as a pillow after putting a spare shirt over it. Here you are, holding IF close, and sleeping together for the first time. Her lips tremble, her cheeks are flushed red and it doesn't feel like either of you could get to sleep while so close.

You wake to IF on your chest, her black tube top imprinting lines in your skin. You want to get up, but with IF so peacefully asleep, it seems cruel to wake her up. The weather has cleared enough to see the sun peek through the clouds. IF rolls over, flicking her phone open.

"A missed call from Compa huh?"

"We're on a date still, isn't it rude to check your phone?" You tease.

IF practically throws her phone back into her belt.

"We need breakfast, there's a creek just down the valley on the way back. We could catch some fish. Together."

"Something up?" You ask.

IF stares off into the sky for a moment.

"I could swear that I promised I would do something with Compa. I hope she isn't mad or anything."

"Should we get back into town today?"

"Probably… Anyways, let's go."

The wet foliage does its best to impede your progress, making every minor incline into a slip and slide that you and IF have to cautiously traverse. Despite nature's best attempt, you get to the creek in one piece and only have to change your socks. IF drags a few small fish out of the water before you can even get your boots laced. She starts another fire and impales the dressed fish on sticks to cook. She puts the empty salt and pepper packets back into the plastic bag they came in, leaving no trace that either of you were there.

As expected of the survivalist herself and your aching stomach, the fish is delicious. The hike down always feels a dozen times quicker than the way up. IF stops under the start of the treeline for a gulp of water.

"I'm sorry if you had less fun than I did because of the wea-"

"It was great IF!" Despite your efforts, it appears that IF is just running on a sort of autopilot, nervously continuing regardless of what you say.

"Re-Really, it was my choice to-" You stop her.

The best way to stop a nervous girl.

The taste of Aiefu's sweet lips lingers in your mouth as you pull away.

"It was wonderful. Don't overthink it."

IF looks aside.

"L-Let's keep going t-then." You can tell by the flushed shy expression that IF tries to keep hidden: You've made her day perfect already. While entering the vaulted great room-like atmosphere of the ancient forest, you feel a tickle in your hand. IF is giving a nervous grin as she pulls your hand into hers. The entire way home, IF is smiling, beaming even just because of you.

IF flops into the couch almost immediately after walking through the door, having hung her coat and satchel in the entry-side closet. Both of you whip your attention to the door as it rings.

IF tenaciously checks the peep hole. She lets herself off her tip toes and sighs. Her hand hovers over the handle, slowly undoing the dead bolt.

A girl with almost obnoxiously purple hair falls through the door and the homely sight of Compa follows in, smiling and bowing.

The purple haired girl wears a hoodie dress, two Plus shaped clips in her hair and thigh high striped socks.

"Hehehe, I've heard things about you! Iffy's boyfriend!" She points a finger at you, setting a hand on her hip.

"I have a name you know."

She gestures with one finger into the air that what she is about to say is quite important.

"My name is Neptune! If YOU want to marry MY IFFY, you'll need to pass the NEP test FIRST!"

"W-Where is this coming from? Why do so many of your friends feel like they need to screen me IF?"

IF sighs.

"All two of them so far. Nep, you've got a whole bag of snacks from the convenience store and a heavy backpack. I assume you and Compa want to have a sleepover?"

"Awww, don't be Ms. No Fun, Iffy! It's fun-"

"And very unexpected. We just got back from a date, we didn't expect to see you…"

"Trying to do lewd things already? Want your time alone together? Hehehe~~~" Neptune wears the most smug face you've ever seen, prodding your girlfriend with all of her might it seems. Blanc was right to not send pictures of your previous date with IF.

Rather than act bashfully as she usually would, IF seems to just accept the situation.

"Up for a few games Compa? It's already 5, you don't stay up very late."

Compa takes a while to respond, she nearly lifts IF off the ground in a hug before accepting the offer. The two girls move to set down their belongings.

"Sleep is very important to being healthy you know! So I always give plenty of time for rest!"

Compa explains to you while Neptune unpacks a shining new console and accompanying cords.

Compa stands, an unusually assertive aura radiates from the fluffy girl. She sets her hands on both hips before making her declaration.

"This is a sleepover! So ladies need pajamas!" Compa takes her own backpack off, retrieving a mass of cloth. IF retreats against the couch as soon as she recognizes the shape.

"Animal pajamas?! Are we little kids again or something!?"

Despite Compa's beaming smile, you sense an overwhelming feeling; almost like she may have something hidden up those wooly sleeves.

"Well I thought they were super duper cute! Nep Nep agrees! We chose our favorite animals and got one just for you too!" Neptune and Compa look at home and happy in their respective bear and sheep outfits while IF just holds a fuzzy black fabric slack in her grasp. There's a dejected emptiness in your lover's eyes. You get close to her and squeeze her knee. IF shakes her head and stands.

"I'm not wearing this."

Compa looks seriously distraught while Nep is as smug as ever.

"We thought super super hard! I thought you would like it for sure!"

You finally get a good glimpse of what animal IF is supposed to wear. The white belly, the slight felt beak… they got IF a penguin outfit. The sleeves even terminate in flippers that one could fold over their hands to work as mittens of a sort. IF's fists quiver at her sides, she puffs out her chest before speaking.

"FINE. I'LL GIVE YOU ONE LOOK."

Nep stifles a giggle as IF locks the bedroom door. After what feels like an eternity, the door softly clicks again, a black flipper slips out of the crack. IF's face is bright red as she reveals her whole body. The suit adds a significant amount of volume to her hips and thighs, almost giving the silhouette of a real penguin. Before a word can even slide out of your dropped jaw, IF retreats into the room with a slam.

Nep stops giggling. She prods you forwards with a smile.

"Go get'er Boyfriend~"

Compa's hands ball up at her collar.

"Yeah! Iffy's gotta come play games with us!"

Your hand hovers over the doorknob. You enter the darkened room, turning on the light.

IF sulks under her covers.

"Come on out sweetie, you looked great~"

You hear a shuffle.

"You can't trick me. You were laughing…"

"That was Nep! Come on, I'm the only person in the room, just come out for a bit."

IF creeps out from underneath the sheets, still wearing the pajamas. The loose cloth collapses under your touch, you still haven't gotten used to how small IF's figure is. Your smile comes naturally and IF relaxes.

"You looks great, only my Aiefu could pull this off~!"

IF looks up into your eyes, soon matching your smile.

"Y-You really think so?"

Like that, you emerge from the bedroom, a returning victorious hero with IF under arm. Nep and Compa give a cheer. Nep cracks open four bottles of ramune and hands them out.

"Cheers!" Neptune calls out, the clink of glass separates her word.


	5. Chapter 5

Forgive how long this chapter took, I've been fighting a severe case of writer's block and been very busy.

You've been extremely restless all day. You can't get the thought of your girlfriend IF, out of your mind, and this time in a bad way.

You've never heard of her calling in sick ever before, and when you knocked on the bedroom door, she didn't even respond. Thinking of her reminds you to pick up chicken bouillon and meat on the way home. As you slip through the door of your home, you start to reach for a pot for soup. Chicken soup is practically mandatory for sick people right? Your thought is overwritten by IF's voice, inflected by a surprisingly accurate attempt at sounding like a man.

"AHA! Taste my shotgun!"

Explosion noises crackle from her TV while you creep closer to her door. Snack wrapping crinkles after another sequence of furious tapping and clicking. Dramatic music starts to play.

"My-My love!" Says IF in her attempt at sounding manly.

"Twas my fault for not protecting you~" You almost swear you can hear her voice breaking up.

"I, the Night Interceptor will get revenge for you! It's all I can do- I'll love you until I die~"

Engine noises and more explosions thunder from her room.

The moment you start to hear a smooching sound you bust through the door.

IF freezes, straw in her mouth, leaning over a drink; she's got wrapping that only brand new games bear in a pile on her bed, peeking out of a blue "Superior Buy" bag. She's in nothing but panties and one of your shirts.

"WAH!?"

IF nearly spills her drink as she retreats, covering herself in a blanket.

"K-Knock before you come in!"

You sigh, relieved in a way despite knowing well that you had nothing to fear. This is your IF after all. IF isn't having any of it and pushes you out the door to soon reemerge; this time with a somewhat proper outfit.

"What?" She barks, clearly aggravated.

"I didn't think you would skip work to play games. I was really concerned, this would've been the first time you were ever sick while we were together."

IF shrinks a little at your concern.

"I-" IF lets her shoulders drop and sighs deeply.

"I've just been so excited to play this new game and I know what we're doing at the Guild…"

You hold back snickers.

"I could tell~"

"Shut it."

IF folds her hands together, becoming quiet. As you approach, she looks into your eyes.

"Would you like to come with me on Guild business- You don't have to. It's uncomfortable and probably incredibly boring if it's not dangerous."

"What kind of boyfriend OR adventurer would I be if I turned down a quest with you?"

IF smiles, stifling a chuckle.

"That's exactly what I thought you would say." IF leans forwards into you; you can smell her hair.

"Are you gonna do anything?!" She eventually barks while her expression weakens further. Your hand finds it's way to her long brown hair.

"I… I'm sorry for making you worry…"

You crack a smile, picking her chin up with a hand.

"I still love you, you dork~ Tomorrow, go to work."

"Yeah Yeah…"

As expected, you were pulled aside for briefing on the quest IF was talking about: a "routine" high speed delivery. No one could else could be entrusted with this information as it went through the cyberspace of Gamindustri but the highest rank Guild members and those it pertained to. Going through the pocket dimension that overlapped all of Gamindustri was faster than the quickest air delivery service but also the most dangerous; it was a conglomeration of dungeons one would have to charge through before they ran out of food and water or got killed by the vast hordes of monsters. No wonder IF wanted you by her side, the more you learned about the Planeptune to Leanbox route the more you worried.

The route you would take on this quest was known for high level monster ambushes and the fact that it was the longest route of all eight passages just meant more time in a hostile environment. IF doesn't seem to be phased, her emotionless expression soothes you; because if she was worried, you would know.

You regain focus on the secretary explaining the mission as she dismisses you two, IF nudges you.

"So, get packed and everything, package should be at the entrance of Cyberspace in a few hours. We should be waiting there ready to leave by then."

You follow IF, her specifications for your pack are stringent: water for two days, food for one. Despite your affiliation for magic, she straps a submachine gun to the side of your pack after you pull it unto your shoulders. Her hands settle on the nylon straps, lingering until she sighs.

"We'll have to move fast, like really fast. I don't want to attract too much attention in there."

"I thought we agreed to a 'boring or dangerous quest'~"

IF frowns.

"Time table changed I guess. Now we get both at the same time."

"Something wrong?"

"I would rather take the long route around than this one. I've heard bad things about it… not like we can change it though. I've got you at least." IF smiles weakly.

The way IF looks at you in that moment- you know that she isn't joking. You matter to her more than anyone or thing else in the world. She wants to be in your arms, but holds back all of her affection and puts it into a little smile and an embarrassed, slightly slumped posture. You rub between her shoulders before she puts her pack on.

"Let's take a vacation in Leanbox after we deliver the package."

IF's figure becomes small as she hugs herself, looking away. As quick as she cowered, IF rushes you after a glance around, wrapping her arms around your neck and kissing with all her might. IF's chest shakily tries to draw in air as she wipes her lips slowly, savoring the taste.

"We'll make it." She says with strength in her voice.

IF seizes your hand and drags you out of the armory, towards your destination.

The entry to Cyberspace was quite unimpressive to say the least. While your mind expected some greatly fortified door or secure location; what you got was a grimy, dusty ancient wooden door in an alleyway with a brass doorknob polished by innumerable hands.

IF pauses, glances at you and then throws the door open. As you follow her into the abyss-like darkness, something changes in the air. It's not particularly cold or warm, yet the air is completely dead. Neon tube lights flicker on in succession, leading you down the hall. IF stops at a control console, taking a look around. She pulls on a panel, soon fishing out a parcel a bit smaller than Lastation's newest console. IF sets a timer on her phone and takes your hand.

"Alright, stand with me on these pads and I'll press the teleport button."

After what felt like a blink you're in a neon plaza surrounded by towering skyscrapers, the hum of computer hardware, and a dim, eye wrenching permanent twilight. Patterns of numbers and letters drift through the sky, disappearing into dazzles of blue light.

IF is already fifteen paces away as you finish taking in your surroundings.

"Come on!" Her hand motion says. You try to focus despite the drone of fans and capacitors: you are before all else on a mission.

Once you get over the electronic cacophony, the relative quiet of cyberspace is unnerving. The only things you hear are the noises you and IF make while traversing the empty passages of the endless platforms and cities. IF pulls out one of her phones, closing it soon after. Her glassy green eyes trace the emptiness of this strange world.

"We're making good time."

"IF. You haven't said a word since we entered Cyberspace. Something wrong?"

"We're here on business. Plus this place is creepy."

IF looks back to the path and starts to walk, you have no option but to follow. The pounding of your boots is the only thing in or even on your mind. Complacency has always been considered one of the most dangerous attitudes while on an assignment, yet you still find it difficult to focus. Even IF is starting to tire of the strange environment. IF's shoulders drop from their tensed position and she pivots to face you.

"Let's take a break."

You sit together against a shiny metallic black wall. IF leans into you, contentedly nibbling on some crackers under your arm.

She's thinking about saying something, you smile and pull her closer to coax it out of her mouth. IF turns red as she starts to speak.

"I-I was just- just thinking h-how nice it was to hear your… heart an-and breathing after walking through all this eerie silence." IF buries her face in her coat sleeves and then into your lap.

"S-SO just me being a stupid, stupid girl. Ig-ignore me."

You have to hold back laughter as you pull IF out of her blue canvas cocoon. Without her coat on, IF fits nicely in your lap. IF lets herself relax, closing the slight gap between you two.

"Aiefu~" She perks up at the sound of her favorite nickname just enough to rest her mouth by your ear.

"Yes~?" She whispers.

"When we get to Leanbox, what sounds better: A day in the sun or a day hidden away, playing games?"

"Let's decide when we get there. Have to focus on what we're doing." She grumbles.

"I guess." IF backs up, pulling her coat over her arms and standing, pack on her shoulders.

"Let's keep-"

IF freezes in place. Her usually lively green eyes dart nervously around the streets. Her breathing becomes labored.

You're at her side in an instant, anxious to know what she's looking for.

"I just got chills- something isn't right… be ready for an ambush."

IF steps onto the street, turning to face- You're falling.

IF nabs your hand with hers, barely saving you from the abyss; her sweaty hands are difficult to keep a grasp on, yet you pull yourself up by her forearm. IF continues panting as you both roll aside, sitting on the ground in shock. She rubs her arm, stretching the joints slowly.

"Th… that tower… just disappeared." IF coughs out. An entire city block of material just vanished, nearly taking you with. You gaze into the sudden vacuum, seeing nothing but more neon lit twilight.

"I-I told you it was dangerous!" IF barks, a sorrow in her eyes. The girl angrily stands, starting down the street, eyes still hunting.

"Come on! Keep up, let's get out of here!"

IF can't help herself from being on edge, she seized one of your hands however many hours ago and hasn't let go since, maybe it's only been minutes; the pressure is starting to get after your nerves as well. IF flicks her phone open and again holsters it, glancing your way.

"We're 30 minutes away at this pace, keep moving and we'll be done."

It wasn't like you had an option, IF was forcing you to keep her pace. Even with all the training you'd done, your legs were starting to ache. You kept putting a foot in front of the other until IF stopped you.

She turns to you, smiles and says:

"Showtime."

The street starts to peel up a few dozen paces ahead as monsters of all shapes and sizes rush towards you two. IF's grace in battle is unrivaled, her blades and magic never miss their mark. While you're too busy hacking and slashing through these trash mobs yourself to really pay attention to IF, it's quite clear that this is just the first attack. A mech leaps out of the fractured path, slapping IF aside like a toy.

"IF!"

The hardy girl takes a knee, giving the machine a death glare. You understood IF's words well even from distance as she wove a spell to end this fight for good.

"HEXED DEMONIC FIRESTORM!" Horrifying blue flames licked from IF's hands as she brought a hurricane of fire onto the mech, turning much of the metal straight into magma which slopped over the machine's former allies. When monsters were screaming in pain, you knew IF had done well. IF falls to her knees again. Your mind can only think of one thing: protect Aiefu.

You lash out at monsters, doing everything in your power to make up the distance between you two. IF is having difficulty even moving. You get a glimpse of her weak smile before she explodes.

"INFERNAL MAXIMUM EXPLOSION!"

The dissipating fireball leaves a pleasant orange irradiance in the air. IF's clothes are somewhat tattered, not to mention scorched as she faceplants. You put a sword through a straggling lizardman and close the gap.

IF weakly smiles as you pick her up.

"You're not complaining; nothing broken?"

"I-I'm alright." She wipes a hand over her closed eye, letting a lurking red light fade and attempting to rebandage her right arm. You help the damaged girl slurp a healing potion down, letting her stop for breaths.

"Hey. Take it easy."

"Do you willfully ignore my strange powers…?"

IF doesn't seem to be very proud of her victory.

"What?"

"Y-You called me a chuunibyou last time…"

"Am I wrong?" IF shrinks at that remark. You scoff, ruffling her hair and wiping soot from her brow.

"I didn't say it was a bad thing~ It's adorable and cool."

"Cool?" IF doesn't seem to buy your remark..

"It does make you surprisingly powerful. Well, besides that. I don't see an issue with it. We won. Does much else matter?" IF's pulse slows and the various scrapes and bruises covering her body start to heal before your eyes. She exhales deeply, clearly relaxing.

"Feel better?"

"Yeah. To hell with this place, let's get out of here."

IF's indifferent frustration is released whenever some minion of the darkness attempts an attack. Every variety of magic one could imagine was at the girl's beck and call. She trudges at your side, clearly fatigued from the journey.

"I want OUT of this place DAMMIT." IF grits her teeth. She sighs soon after her outburst.

"I think I see the terminal."

"Oh?" As soon as the words came out of your mouth, IF's whole attitude flips, again ready to move. IF is outright sprinting to the exit as you try to keep up.

Leaving that dimension may have been the best moment of the year, IF practically drags you out of the entryway, your feet can barely move fast enough to keep up with the excited girl. You catch up to IF, darting through a weakly illuminated cave to emerge just above a beach. An entire army of cherry trees lazily sweep to and fro in the heat. The professional ranks of trees point inland to a shining white city with grey and green embellishments.

"YES!" IF throws her arms into the air as a warm, almost tropical breeze sweeps her hair around her shoulders.

IF turns to you, shedding her coat before she takes your hand. You reach up and seize some of the ruby-like fruit, sharing a bundle with IF.

"I wonder whose orchard this is."

IF checks her phone.

"We should be meeting someone here, let's take our time." IF pulls her coat back over her shoulders, checking her pistol before settling down.

Your eyes scan the surroundings, looking for any sign of life.

IF perks up a bit.

"No. Way."

A pure white parasol meanders- no, a beautiful blonde with a sweeping white summer dress and parasol makes her way down the rows of trees. As she closes the gap, you can make out her tired blue eyes and slight smile. Her mannerisms nearly foil IF entirely as she elegantly presents an open hand, parasol leaned on her shoulder. You've got an actual goddess at arms length away in clothing worth more than your life and a mangy, tattered girl that smells like singed hair, ozone, sweat and burnt metal under your arm..

"My parcel please~?"

IF hands the package over and folds her arms over her chest.

"If we just risked our lives for something stupid like a new doujin, game or whatever the hell, I've got some CHOICE words for you Vert." IF barks.

"Oh, my dear IF, don't think that I would risk ~you~ for something so trivial. This is technology key to my nation's dominance!"

"To be dominance." IF dryly states. Vert stiffly folds her parasol, tucking it under her arm.

"You are not a Goddess, it should be no concern of yours!"

Despite IF striking what seemed like the critical point of Vert's ego, the goddess calms just as quickly as she was enraged.

"Whatever. As a token of my gratitude, please, stay at one of my nation's many resorts and forwards the tab to my Basilicom." A gust of wind sweeps the land, throwing IF's mess of hair around her face. In her fatigued state, IF tries to blow it away before creakily reaching for it. Vert shakes her head and takes a few steps away. She turns for a moment just to utter:

"Good luck~ Especially you Sir." Vert's tired blue eyes speak volumes more than she does until she turns again, pivoting the parasol unto her shoulder again.

"We should probably go… a shower and rest sounds good." says IF. As she lets her arms fall to her sides, a delicate looking envelope falls out of her sleeve.

"W-What?!"

IF kneels, opening the envelope.

A debit card with "Idea Factory" in the name field slips out into her palm. She flips it over, finding a sticky note with a smiley face and one word "~Vert". IF pulls out a solitary sheet of paper with an abnormal amount of effort. A letter of unlimited credit bearing Vert's flowing signature.

Vert wasn't exaggerating, yet you still didn't take full advantage of her hospitality. IF tried her best to find a lower end location, but seemed to have fallen a little high. The moment you said her name and presented the letter, the staff treated you two like royalty. The dark hardwood walls of the establishment clashed with stainless steel railings filled with glass panes. Smooth slabs of concrete and orderly fields of tile make up the floor and occasion columns and features. As you and IF follow the hotel attendant to your room, you get a glimpse of the sun. The entire center of the easily 30 story tall building was hollow, leading to skylight windows at the top and modern gardens with a spattering of fountains below ground floor.

"This… this is what a four star resort in Leanbox looks like?" IF says nervously, checking over her shoulder. The two of you get looks, you forget you still have a gun strapped to your backpack and IF looks and smells like she went running in a forest fire. She seems unsteady, and not just from the lavish environment. As soon as the attendant presents your room, IF falls into the bathroom, taking a good hour long shower. As far you can see, IF has done the best she can to bandage and ease her wounds before flopping onto the bed in a white bathrobe. By the time you make it to the bathroom door, IF is fast asleep, you smile and go about your business.

A soft shake rouses you to your senses. Everything is pitch black except one thing: the clock reads 05:23 in harsh red LCD light. IF is sitting cross legged next to you. She turns on the bedside lamp with a smile.

You sit against the headboard and IF slips to your side, taking your hand once you get an arm over her shoulders.

"Feel better?"

IF nods, reaching towards her backpack, which is leaned against the bed.

"Y-You said you liked my ch-chunnibiyou tendencies… I-I'd like to share something with you. I keep it with me at all times."

She pulls out a well worn leather backed notebook with a red page marker. The memory of your chance meeting comes rushing back. You can't hide or suppress a giant grin as IF turns to you.

"W-What?!"

"Just a memory. You know, the first time-"

IF seems angry. "You wanna see this or what?" She barks through gritted teeth.

Her hand rests at the edge of the cover.

"You know… even though I'm supposed to be all 'grown-up'... I can't help but think sometimes that I was right as a little girl. I thought that my notebook was the most precious thing I could ever have."

"Well, you make just about everyone else in the Guild look like fools the moment you start casting, so I'd have to agree."

IF tugs at the silky covers of the bed, eventually taking both of you under the sheets. She unlocks one of her phones and sets it as a reading light between her arms. Every little detail you could ever want of her creation is at your fingertips. You can hear the youth in the early pages, but IF's dreamland is still consistently hers. She stops, looking at you with uncertainty in her eyes.

"Is- Is that enough? Do you want- want me to continue?"

"It's pretty crazy that you had such a good grasp on words so young…"

"Is that a yes?"

"Of course. I've got to know this if you ever want me to help with Dungeons and Wyverns right?"

IF chuckles, smiling again.

"That actually sounds like a lot of fun. Maybe we should try that someday~"

As she continues through the epics of her not-so-far-off land, her voice becomes increasingly inflected and she starts to add voices for the characters. It's a one girl play, right here under the sheets. You notice that in some parts she doesn't even have her eyes open, reading from memory as she gestures as much as the confined space will allow, letting the emotion flood into her face. She stops at the end of a saga, clutching her chest as her eyes widen.

"I-I've… I…"

You laugh, squeezing her shoulders.

"I love it! Keep doing the voices!"

IF buries her face in the pages.

"I didn't even notice!"

"I really do love it Aief! Please. Keep doing it."

IF pulls her face away from the pages, hiding a pout.

"All… Alright."

She continues your journey through the densely written, aged pages. It takes a while for her inhibitions to disappear, but by the time she closes the notebook, the sun is peeking over the gleaming ocean. IF seems satisfied with her choice to read her story. Your head is swimming with enchantments, curses, angry gods, fantastical landscapes and tough heroes fighting what seems like all of existence on their own. IF's hands linger in the last few pages of the notebook.

IF shakes her head and smiles, affixing the metal clasp to lock the book shut.

"You know, if you published that, it would probably sell millions of copies and you wouldn't have to work for the Guild anymore."

IF shrugs, uncovering the two of you. She slides her legs out of the sheets, soon standing to stretch. She pulls denim short shorts onto her legs, the stolen white shirt of yours she wears goes to just above the tattered hem of the shorts.

"I love adventuring, especially with you. I wouldn't stop, even if I had all the money in the world." She takes her time in continuing her obviously paused thought, observing the silver-orange shimmers on the ocean from the rising sun through the sliding glass doors to the balcony.

"Oh, right. Breakfast." She says disconnected from anything else.

"Hungry?"

"Very. I hear there's a breakfast buffet down in the resteraunt about this time."

IF wastes no time in loading her plate with meat and egg. She's got enough sausage to feed a small family alone. She nabs a second plate for pancakes and takes a seat at your side.

"Healing potions always make me so -mhph- hungry." IF says, part way through devouring a few strips of bacon.

"I suppose it makes sense, you took quite a bit of damage yesterday."

You take your time eating, IF is akin to a vacuum cleaner.

"Anything you want to do today?"

IF looks surprisingly contemplative for someone holding a half eaten bagel filled with ham and cheese, crushed to fit her mouth.

"Maybe..."

She sets her sandwich down, pulling out a phone.

"I- I kinda break the law. I love the Leanbox console but live in Planeptune." She skims through a few pages before presenting the screen to you.

It seems she has quite a list of region specific games she wants to acquire.

"Is that all?" IF cocks her head.

"You don't want to share drinks made in a coconut half or anything?"

IF fidgets with her hands before responding.

"I don't think we'll have the time today… I'd like to visit one of the firearm stores while we're shopping for some more 1911 magazines and ammo."

"You never said why you don't use a Guild issue sidearm."

IF turns red slowly.

".45 caliber is obviously superior to the 9mm the Guild uses! It's totally not because most of the cool Leanbox shooting game protagonists use one… "

You snicker.

"Alright alright. That's enough teasing today. I'll stop."

IF finishes her food and takes your side while walking. She tenderly takes your arm in hers. Even though it's just her arm… IF's skin is soft. You lean in for a sniff of her hair and start your journey into Leanbox.

"Let's go~" She chimes, taking her first step with you into the dewey, humid morning. The lingering, homely scent lingering in the air entirely contrasts with the sight before you: A city so sleek, slender and shining that one could mistake it for an mirage or hallucination. Green and white floodlights tick off one by one around some of the larger structures, signalling the start of another day.


End file.
